From: Danielle A——–
Subject: Good afternoon!
I came across your running club’s information and wanted to reach out to you to see if you think any of your runners may be interested in some of our reflective products. I would be glad to talk to you about the different products we have to offer. You can check out our website at http://www.reflexsafety.com/. I would love to send you a catalog, if you could provide me with an address. Please let me know if I can be of any assistance to you! I hope to hear from you soon!
Sayre Enterprises, Inc.
To: Danielle A—-
Re: Good Afternoon!
Hi, Danielle. Thanks for writing.
I think you may have fallen prey to some common misconceptions about our organization, the Hash House Harriers, and hashing in general.
We are not a r*nning club. We are a drinking club. Some of us have a r*nning problem. (See? We don’t even like to use that word!)
I have no doubt that your company’s excellent product line can significantly enhance r*unning safety. If we had any sense, we’d probably give serious thought to using your products. But we don’t have any sense. Quite frankly, if safety were at all a concern for us, we probably wouldn’t lube up with beer and hard liquor and then go chasing each other through the busy urban streets of New Haven, singing blasphemous and filthy songs in earshot of local churches and schools.
That said, if your company is interested in our business, it could probably find a market for reflective versions of the following items:
* red dresses
* nipple pasties
* blow-up dolls
If your company is interested in providing any of these items, please staple your catalog to a case of Jameson’s Irish Whiskey, and send it to the New Haven Hash House Harriers, care of Blowing You Softly, and we’ll get back to you when we sober up.