From the Mailbag …

postalTo: New Haven H3 Mismanagement
From: H___________

Good Morning,

I was hoping I might be able to talk or meet with the director sometime soon about the possibilities of the Hash House Harriers having a group outing here. Here at ____ we work with groups to provide an enjoyable, social atmosphere where groups can be highlighted and recognized during the game. We have just opened up a new pub this past summer  and we are also renovating our 3rd floor bar. I hope that I might be able to talk with you more in detail about our outing opportunities as well as some of the fundraising possibilities we have here.

Please let me know when would be good for you, I am happy to come down to New Haven and meet with you. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Thank you!

Best Regards,
H______
Group Sales Representative

To: H_______
From: New Haven H3 Mismanagement

Dear H_____:

Thank you for contacting the New Haven Hash House Harriers.

Unfortunately, we don’t have a director as such, or any single individual so empowered. What mismanagement we do have generally makes decisions democratically, arbitrarily, and in a state of complete inebriation.

We run on Saturdays and are always looking for welcoming new establishments where we can gather before and after our trails. We can help engender the “enjoyable, social atmosphere” you seek to create through our quaint traditions. These include the singing of our customary hashing “hymns” that highlight topics such as incest, necrophilia and every imaginable form of copulation. Public nudity and blasphemy are also among our cherished traditions — and we would be eager to share them all with your other guests.

If you would like to meet with us, please join us on Saturday at our trail at 2 p.m. at the Trowbridge Environmental Center at East Rock Park in New Haven, where you can learn all about hashing and its traditions. Do be aware that as a hashing “virgin” (presumably) you will be subject to a certain amount of ridicule and asked to entertain the group. As this is our annual holiday “Krampuslauf” hash, please feel free to bring any unwanted children you may have. There will be a meal afterwards.

Sincerely,
New Haven H3 Mismanagement

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