Hashers! You may be thinking to yourselves “Goddam DYD is a deadbeat, waiting to the last moment to release the top-secret address to Saturday’s Hash,” and I would have to agree with you and offer humble apologies, and then throw myself upon your merciful hearts when we make it to circle.
Breakfast in America Hash! Hares Don’tYouDare and Virgin Hare Will (a.k.a Stabby Stabby) will lay a delightfully wicked trail through Hamden where there will be our beloved paved surfaces as well as a smile-inducing amount of off road Hashing. No real shiggy to speak of, unless we can get your asses lost, and no poison ivy, which makes TTT damn near giddy. There will be Bacon-Infused Bourbon on trail, as well at Oatmeal Stout. Perhaps a bagel fight? You’ll have to Hash it to find out for sure. Oh, and there will be Big H3AD (winky). On Out is EARLY! 10:00 AM! And now for the details (if only to keep Back Tits at bay):
EVENT: Breakfast in America Hash
Date: Saturday, November 22nd
On Out: 10:00 AM, or 1000 for you Jarheads and Squids
Location: 41 Todd Street, Hamden CT 06518
Parking: In the Farmington Canal Trail lot, or nearby and walk the trail to Todd Street
Distance: About Four-ish miles
Strollerable: Nope, definitely not.
Hash Cash: $5.00 Cheap
New Shoes: Always strongly encouraged
This Saturday our own Tap That Teacher may be seen traipsing around the neighborhood of West Haven clad in nothing more than a diaphenous white schiff as she lays trail for our annual White Dress Hash – Winter is Cuming! While TTT is always game for the saucier side of White Dresses (think Victoria’s Secret collides with Billy Idol’s White Wedding) she has expressed concern of a cold Hash now that we’re into the early part of Novembrrrr, so White Dress accordingly. That’s right, skimpy rules the day, prudish attire drinks at Circle for being wusses. Let the Hash details begin!
WHERE? The far left of the parking lot near Jimmie’s at Savin Rock – 5 Rock Street, West Haven CT 06516.
DATE? Saturday, Novembrr 8th.
ON OUT? 2:00 PM Sharpish!
DRINK CHECKS? TWO! WooHoo!
HASH CASH? $5, Cheap!
STROLLERABLE /DOGABLE? Why do we even ask this?
SHIGGY? Maybe. Maybe not. It’s West Haven, fer cryin out loud.
ID NEEDED? Only if you want your corpse identified.
WHITE DRESSES? Not mandatory, but kinda desired if you want to be sexy.
Lastly, there’s a special treat for every Hasher wearing new shoes!
On On! DYD
NUDES & BEER HASH
For those who played with their erector sets, and know how to handle nuts and bolts, this is the Hash for you!
For those who immersed their fingers in jars of paint, and splattered gobs of it on their clothes, this is the Hash for you!
For those who enjoy nudes, beer, and historic landmarks, and an appreciation for creativity, this is the Hash for you!
GUEST HARE: DIRTY HOE
DATE: SATURDAY, OCTOBER 25, 2014
TIME: 2:00 PM
ON-OUT: 1175 STATE ST, NEW HAVEN (CROSSFIT SIDE, PARK IN THE BACK-LEFT CORNER)
ON-ON: VARIOUS TRAILS (SUITABLE FOR SLOTHS, GAZELLES, AND OTHERS)
ON-IN: BRING HASH CASH ($5)
Summarizing Don’tYouDare’s Pants-Off Dance-Off Hash will be from an odd perspective since 1. I’m Don’tYouDare, 2. I kind of live-Hared it to the first Booze Check, and 3. I kind of Hashed it from there. So rather than trying to capture the harrowing events and wild dancing done on trail with any sense of witty repartee, I think I’ll stick with my numbering system to summarize the long day that it was.
1. Haring with chalk in the rain bites ass. Giant ass, if I may. To compensate, as I’m so wont to do, I left most trail marks on vertical surfaces, which made them hard to see (that’s what she said) for Hashers who are accustomed to looking to the ground for direction. Also, at the Checks where I had so cleverly planned a dance event I did an ass-bitey job of marking the lead up to said dance event, thwarting my cleverness. In hindsight, I should have drank at Circle for stupidassedness, buty I didn’t. I suspect I may on the 25th, however.
B. Live Haring is more fear-inducing than I had imagined (had never live-Hared before, and definitely has never solo live-Hared. Yipe!). It shouldn’t have been, though. I had already marked the trail, so it should have been a no-brainer, but I kind of just wandered through the first half of the trail when I originally marked, so I was remarking as Hare and maybe Hashing a little bit, too. Perhaps the greatest source of fear was in the knowledge we had at least two serious FRBers Hashing in Bleeding Hash and Panda Sexpress, and I in no way was prepared to lose my pants if caught (although it would have been an interesting Leeroy Jenkins event).
3. First Booze Check was an On The Foot (Off The Foot?) where I was finally able to rid my refrigerator of the bleu cheese-stuffed olives that had been in my fridge for the past four years. The martini was vile and tasted of ball sweat, it was claimed by Gash, and I had to take his word on his taste comparison.
4. After the shitty martini we ran into Taint No Savior and his chick (Paige?) from Skull and Boners H3. Hi Taint!
5. Hashing a trail you’ve Hared, even if you’re absolutely not certain of every twist and turn, can be quite amusing. Amusement is exponential when you realize you can watch the Kennel follow the Check Backs you’ve laid.
F. Beer Check was found in an abandoned manufacturing complex, and I did a silent Phew that it was still there. I had planned for more beer and water than I’d need, and poor Virgin Steve (or was it Virgin Bob?) had to hump that shit when we On Outed again. Being wise to the trail I short-cutted forward while most of the Kennel (minus Smashmouth, who doesn’t cotton to shenanigans) was dispatched to crawl under or climb over a rusty and Tetanus-threatening fence.
7. Bonus Beer OTF! WooHoo! Another Check Back! Woo to the effing Hoo!
8. Kennel disintegrated well before the On In at O’Toole’s. Tap That Teacher and Hentai Me Down were long lost, Smashmouth and Tweedle Dumb didn’t wait at the Bonus OTF and were well in front, and Face-Full of Leeroy and Panda said “eff it” and short-cutted in when they became distracted at the last true Check. Only the Virgin, Gash and DYD had the fun of Gangnam dancing across Elm Street.
9. FRB? TTT, I think. DFL? Maybe that was TTT, too. I gotta take better notes.
10. Hi I’m Gay met us at the On In and offered up some refreshing songs at Circle where he guest Beer Bitched. Thanks, HIG! There were accusations and accolades disguised as accusations, a welcoming of Virgin Bob and some cleverly-disguised booze in lieu of beer Down Downs. Shitty times, fellow Hashers. Shitty times, indeed.
On On – DYD
While scouting the trail for this Saturday’s New Haven I got a bit lost. Okay, maybe a lot lost. I’d scouted what I thought was the basic plan for this hash a few weeks before so a simple retracing of steps was in order, but I was sadly, sadly mistaken (said the guy who wears GPS tech on trail).
I’m currently enjoying the thrills of a raging head cold, so please forgive me if my usually clever bon mots fall short in this posting. I’ll do my damnedest, though, and will begin by chanting about trees and shrubs and flowers with horns on my, well, you know…
Cum one, cum all! There is a new kennel in New Haven – The Skull & Boners Hash House Harriers
This group will run one Sunday per month, and the odd Friday.
Live hares, mega shiggy, and fun, fun, fun!
Join their Facebook Group at the link below and get details on their inaugural run on November 10th:
Other CT area hashes not to forget – hashing fun for all:!
Rotten Groton Hash House Harriers: http://grotonh3.blogspot.com/ and on facebook at https://www.facebook.com/groups/158865257481910/?fref=ts
Ridgefield/Bethel Hash House Harriers: http://sports.groups.yahoo.com/group/Bethel_H3/
Trail info for the 3 pee-em Saturday NH4 trail!
Once there were two hares,
who knew they couldn’t be snared.
So they cun-cock-ted a devious trail,
in order to cause hounds’ yells.
The trail was to be cruel,
so they brought beer along as fuel.
Penis Fly Trap writes better than I,
so fuck it, I will stop try…ing.
Trail Info for Saturday!
Trail will be 2 ish miles, filled with muck and thorns, and you’d be smart to bring your shiggy gear. Short distances might fool some, but you can’t run through marsh reeds.
Beer? HELL yes there will be beer. How many checks you might ask? 2 Beer checks, courtesy of the People’s Beer of Richmond…. (PBR)
Shiggy factor? There will be an estimated 3 out of 5 shiggy factor
Horrors/dogs? Please, do not bring them along, you’ll need all your appendages (some more than others) to navigate the trail.
What to bring: 5 dollars for trail (we hares are cheap tricks), Virgins for booben, Vessels for boozen, Dry bag so you are acceptable at the on-after, and Shiggy socks to protect your virgin shins.
D’Erections to start: Trail will be A-A, and will start from the parking lot to the athletic fields behind James Hillhouse High School — 357-399 Munson St
New Haven, CT 06511. If you get to the high school, off of Sherman pkwy, Turn left on Munson and immediately on the right is a parking lot to two athletic fields (open dawn-dusk). We’ll get in, get out, and quick fucking about, so find your way here.
On-after to be determined
Forewarning: The hares will be hung-over, and are likely to give no shits about what we run through, bring TECHNU and IVYBLOCK if you’re so inclined, but shiggy socks should suffice.
Adventure Hash Impotent Update NH4 Adventure Hash – HASH / RIVER TUBING / 4HR BEER FEST Dear Jessica You are receiving this message in relation to your order for the NH4 Adventure Hash – HASH / RIVER TUBING / 4HR BEER FEST Hallo Hashers! Mother nature has decided that there was really just not enough straight up beer time for us this weekend and in her infinite wisdom has decided to close down the river tubing recreation area. Due to excessive flooding of the river through the weekend, the company that runs the tubing can not open up. What does that mean for us? More beer time! We will be moving our motley crew to a new start location with the following plan: 10a – Hash! Start Whittemore Recreation Area, Barkhamstad CT (SEE MAP LINK BELOW 7 miles from original location) With BEER On In – Water Olympics / River Games / BBQ / BEER 4p – BEER FEST! (7miles from Whittemore Recreation Area) For those of you holding hotel rooms, your hotel is also approximately 7 miles from the new location. We have 3 drivers on hand to help you drop your stuff and get back. Tubing was the only reason you were coming? Partial refunds of your prepaid tickets can be issued after the Hash depending on what you pre purchased (i.e. Beer Fest tickets may not be refundable unless we have onsite people that take them). But don’t be a wanker! Come join us for some fun in the sun, first day of summer hashing, BEER, water games, BEER, BBQ and….BEER! MAP LINK: Whittemore Recreation Area East River Road Barkhamsted, CT 06063 Enquiries: To cancel your order or request additional information, please contact email@example.com quoting your order reference mentioned in this email and your full details. We look forward to seeing you. Thanks New Haven Hash House Harriers firstname.lastname@example.org