Dia de los Muertos, Day of the Dead, Halloween….what better time for a dead hare lay!! Cum join your speedy hare Tap That Teacher on a tour of some of ‘Staven’s’ most picturesque…ummm, sure…haunts.
Where: Parking lot behind Stop and Shop on Messina Drive in East Haven. (Use 56 Messina Drive for GPS if you need to).
When: Saturday, November 5th, 2:00pm
What: A to A-ish trail. Around 4 miles, 2 drink checks, doggable
Hash Cash: $5….can’t beat that!
On-After: TTT’s place…secret location will be revealed at circle muahahaha
It’s that time of year again! What time you ask?? It’s the time of the year to dress up in Fancy clothes, talk condescendingly to the plebeians, and sample the finest wine available (in a bag). It’s the F*cking Madison Wine Mixer!
When: Saturday, May 7th, 2:00pm. We know that you’ll want to be fashionably late, so the promenade begins at 2:30.
Where: Madison Surf Club, north parking lot. Follow the pavement past the football field to the rear (unpaved) lot at the top of the small hill. Alternatively (or if they are enforcing parking passes at the Surf Club gate), park at Lowry Field 0 It’s just a 400ft saunter to the start.
Trail: A to A, 5.69 miles
Hare: Marty McDie, maybe you?
Hash Cash: $5 for trail, virgins are free!
On-After: BBQ on the beach at the Surf Club, for an additional $5. In case of inclement weather, the on-after will be at Cristy’s Madison.
The Irish had their day, but Italians rule! We are the #1 exporter of wine, have awesome food and invented the orgy! What else do you need? Whether you are an Italian Stallion, wish you were, or just ride one, let us make you an offer you can’t refuse! Cum out and celebrate all that is Italian!
If you don’t, Andate tutti a vaffanculo!
Hares: Just Deb’s Virgin Lay, and Pee Dignity
When: Saturday, March 26th, 1:00pm
Where: Matthies Park, Beacon Falls. Take Rte 42 (Pine Bridge road) to Back Rimmon Road, which is the entrance of Woodland Regional High School. When turning onto Back Rimmon Road, fork right into the entrance of Matthies Park.
Trail: 3-4 miles, A to A
Drink Checks: 3+ beverage checks, special Italian checks and a challenge, and probably some food – it’s the Italian way! Please bring vessels on trail.
Trail report: Mix of trails, roads, and light NH4 shiggy.
Hash Cash: $5, virgins are free
On-After: American Pie and Pub, 15 Klarides Village Drive, Seymour
This amazing hash trash will start out as all shitty hash stories should….SO THERE WE WERE! NO SHIT!
A semi-decent mid-winter’s day, ready to become the rock stars we all know we are. A gaggle of around 20 gathered with, wait – more chicks than dudes?? Wow, that’s a first! Our hares Freddy Mercury and David Bowie, aka Tijuana Donkey Fluffer and Just Pete, promised a debaucherous trail that would rival Ozzy and Tommy Lee’s infamous exploits! Uh-huh.
For prelube Bowie/Pete concocted some burn your throat steaming hot cocktail for those brave enough, and the rest drank a mishmash of leftover beers. We noticed a dark Volvo with Maryland plates turning into the parking lot…could it be? Really? Yes! It was New Haven’s own Bambi’s Bitch back for a visit! No shit! Mathole, stand-in RA, started chalk talk, and boy, we must’ve really been running behind because Binocucock saunters up and actually catches it all! We blow off the hares and give them 9.69 minutes, then we’re off.
An immediate T/E split awards the eagles with mustaches to make Mr. Mercury jealous, and then the group quickly reconvenes, straight on to a virgin check. Thanks to Placenta something or other from Charleston for mentoring his virgin. Not. We had to wait for that neon clad boy to make his way back, h3@d hung in shame, so we could point him in the direction of true trail. Into the woods for BC1…Franzia bag-o-wine. Yum. Toward the body of the Sleeping Giant we go, straight to a KOTH. Reward, but no punishment. Come on! Hashing is all about punishment! The pack voted to wait for all 3 DFLs instead of leaving them behind for some reason. What’s with all the chivalry on trail?!?
Across some slippery ass leaves, through some snow and mud, BC2…BQ25. Great job hares, took 19 of us 5 minutes to find your dumb bag-o-beer. Thanks Marty. Binoc’s esoteric knowledge of, well everything, let us know we were at some quarry place, and yes, sitting on poison ivy. Bambi’s Bitch found a Mexican stripper’s sequin…in his Modelo beer. WTF? (I’m sure he kept it for something or other).
Now, we were told we would get wet on this trail, much to the delight of the harriettes who showed up…but this is NOT what we expected. Knee deep 12° water, replete with floating ice blocks. Who’s knees? Not Flick’s, and not Teacher’s! Frostbite all around! And chivalry too, thanks Marty and…someone else, who knows? We run into an awesome super nova, then straignt onto Quinnipiac University’s campus. Kudoos (maybe?) to Jolly Green Cowboy for planting himself at the dick check for 15 minutes to spare the others who would’ve claimed that “They were in the pool!!!” I’m sure all the visiting parents appreciated it as well. Song check where we almost left the trio of DFLs again, to a Rock Star pop-rocks check. Let it be known that Binoc wishes they had KY flavored ones too. Ummm….
Stick with me here, I’m almost done! Do a shot or something.
Into the home stretch, Gene Simmons, aka Master Hater, bit the bullet and pulled a Cowboy for the duration with her ample bosom out for all our voyeuristic pleasure…BQ3 was some hideous concoction of vodka, Southern Comfort and grapefruit soda. Yup, hardcore rock stars here. With all the booze consumed, TTT convinced some minions 😉 to just zen back to on-in. PAHB! A small but
dumb determined group soldiered on, making friends with a decaying pumpkin which Placenta got his cranium up close and personal with. Grossssssss!!
Circle time: FRB Tweedle Dumb. DFL Not Teacher! Blood on trail Placenta. Pointing Teacher. Placenta looked like he was too sober so kept getting called in for all sorts of bull that we made up. Cops: Cowboy. Yeah, he decided his nether regions were too stuffy in his neon shorts, so decided to go without for circle. The Hamden PD were not impressed. “Disgusting” was the word they used I believe!!!! On-after, pizza and beer, and our hare Bowie/Pete, was named forevermore, That’s Pee in the Corner. And yes, he must sing it.
God I’m tired. On-Out, TTT
After partying ’til you puke on Thursday and watching football ’til you puke on Friday, why not fight off the DTs and get your New Year on-on with a little hashing?
When: Saturday, January 2nd, 2016, 1:00pm
Where : 24 Annawon Avenue, West Haven (on-street parking)
Hare: Tweedle Dumb
Hash Cash: $5, Virgins (first timers) are free. Pre-lube and circle beer included.
Trail: 3 miles-ish. A to A, snow or shine, one beer stop (bring cash and IDs), circle under subterranean climate controlled conditions, warm vittles included.
On-After: Tweedle and Hairy Fritter’s crib.
See you all then wankers!
It’s that time of year again! Sleigh bells are ringing, dreidels are spinning, candles are being lit and Hashers are drinking (as usual). So cum on down to celebrate this festive time of year – it’s ChristmasHanaKwanzika!
To join in the celebration of this holiday season, cum dressed as Santa, an elf, a dreidel, reindeer, or get really creative, adorn your Festivus Pole!
When: Saturday, December 19th, 1:00pm start time
Where: Eisenhower Park, Milford CT. The entrance is by the tennis courts and the flashing yellow light. Pull in, drive straight down into the back parking lot.
Hares: Pee Dignity and Back Tits McGee
Trail: A to A, 3.5ish miles
Hash Cash: $5, Virgins are free
Drink Checks: 3.5ish
Trail Report: Light NH4 style shiggy. Shiggy socks are always helpful. you may or may not get wet feet.
Dress up, you know you want to!
Who doesn’t love gadgets? You know you do….. And who hasn’t seen a gadget on an infomercial that seemed awesome??
But…maybe you didn’t have the werewithall (or the guts) to call and order that Paintstick or 1-Second Slicer at the time. Well, now you can live out your gadget fantasies! (at least the PG ones…)
So grab your Stompees and your CamiSecret, pimp out your Snuggie, or just cum dressed as a Shake Weight! Either way, cum be a part of the biggest NH4 infomercial EVAH!
When: SUNDAY, November 22nd….note day change. This is not a Saturday people. At 1:00pee-em.
Where: Linden Park, Naugatuck. Take Route 8 North to Exit 27, take a left off the ramp, and you’re there.
Trail: A to A, 3.5ish miles
Hash Cash: $5, Virgins always free
Shiggy level: Not much…you know what tends to happen on Mathole’s trails. Yup, rain.
On-after: Union Street Station, 23 Union St. Naugatuck.
But wait! There’s more! We’re hashing on a Sunday because New Haven’s very own Faceful of Leroy will be joining us straight from the tropical rainforests of Grenada on her way to sunny California. Cum on down and visit with her!
The time has cum for Just Natalie’s virgin lay! As she pops her ‘haring cherry’ we will also make her dream cum true! Just Natalie will finally get to live out her fantasy of having a “Trashy as Fuck” themed bash! I suppose that’s what people aspire to when living in Iowa?!
So dress as your favorite redneck, hick, trailer trash…the less class the better!! Some suggested trashy items include cutoffs, wife beaters, tramp stamps, overalls and anything else that makes you look like a cousin lovin’, goat humpin, meth dealin’ low life!
PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE HASHING BEHAVIOR!!!
So travel down south the the County of Fairfield to the town of Bumble, I mean Trumbull!
WHEN: Saturday, November 7th, 1:00pm (Not 3 pee em….1 pee em)
WHERE: Commuter Lot off Route 25, Trumbull, CT. (use 40 Park St. Trumbull, CT 06611 for your GPS. The entrance to the lot is across the street, can’t miss it!)
HARES: Pee Dignity, and Just Natalie
TRAIL: A to A, 3.5ish miles
HASH CASH: $5, Virgins are free
DRINK CHECKS: 3, Yee Haw!
TRAIL REPORT: Light to Medium NH4 style Shiggy. Shiggy socks are always helpful. You may or may not get wet feet.
ON-AFTER: Marissa’s Ristorante, 6540 Main Street, Trumbull. (This is 4.5 miles from trail, about an 8 min. drive).
Dress up! You know you want to! Don’t be a douche! See you there
This trail is in honor of Just Evan’s longtime hero and man crush, the Naked Cowboy. Dress accordingly…
When: 3:00pm, Sat. Aug. 15th
Where: Peter’s Rock Park, North Haven. Use the entrance on Middletown Ave. (Rte 17), which is located behind the First Fuel Gas Station. There is a gravel parking lot and pavilion. You can put 133 Middletown Ave into your GPS if you’d like.,
Hares: Tap That Teacher and Just Evan for his Virgin Lay
Drink Checks: 3
Hash Cash: $5 Virgins free
Trail: A to B. Closing circle at point B. Shuttle service…otherwise known as TTT’s van, or a short walk back to point A.
Description/Shiggy Report: Little to no actual shiggy; however, this is an off-road trail (dirt paths with rocks/roots, etc), with some mountain goating and hills. Feel the burn people. Optional, no really, shallow water crossing.
Someone knows where the drink checks are, someone knows true trail, and someone knows what you’re doing next Saturday. Or this Saturday…
Where: Tilcon Road, Branford
Hare: Marty MCDIEEEEEE
Drink Checks: 3 – 4
Trail: 4.69 miles (true trail)
Shiggy: Minimal(ish) for Turkeys, more (wading) for Eagles
Cranium Lamps: Highly recommended for overachievers
Hash Cash: $5 …Virgins always FREE
Note: There isn’t an actual address for your GPS, but if you put Tilcon Road, Branford CT in, you should be able to find us. Other roads that lead to Tilcon Road are Pine Orchard Road.
Update: NOT NORTH BRANFORD!! This is a small road near the Pine Orchard Golf Course and Yacht Club.
Call TTT if you get lost 2039884593